Now I am working on a new book, the subject of which is fear. In an interview to 316NEWS, I am telling about my experience of overcoming fear, addressing hidden phobias and disclosing the most imperceptible fear that absolutely everybody tends to have.
What are you afraid of today?
Throughout my life I have had to face different fears but I have always had victory. How did I fight? I would listen to sermons in which the issues that scared me were strongly talked about. I would listen to one and the same sermon for multiple times and then be delivered from fear through prayer.
A few months ago I had a chance to travel to Paris again. I had always wanted to go up the Eiffel tower in a glass elevator, but my fear of height would stop me. This time, I decided the following: “I have to do it, no matter what. I have to overcome my fear”. It took my breath away as the elevator was ascending higher and higher, but once it came down, I thought to myself: “And this was all I was afraid of?” Now I make myself to always overcome heights, but I also pray for complete deliverance from fear.
In your opinion, is fear a motivation? Can a person fight fear without prayer, by acting contrary to it?
The last fear that I noticed in myself was the fear of drowning. Realizing that I have to fight it, I started listening to the sermons of Derek Prince, a world-famous preacher, and then I prayed for deliverance and went to the swimming pool. On that day I told my trainer that I had completely overcome my fear and jumped into the water at a depth of 2 meters. It was a risk, but my victory over fear gave me great pleasure.
However, after a while the fear returned. I was swimming in a pool when suddenly a thought came across my mind that I would drown. I immediately remembered the recent cases when one of my acquaintances as well as a famous ballet dancer had drowned, and I quickly got out of the water. I understood that it was impossible to get rid of fear by force. The power of the Lord is expressed in peace. The more I thought about how to get rid of fear, the more it devoured me, but the more I immersed myself in the Word of God, the faster I approached victory.
Is a person born with fear or does he obtain it?
A person is born fearless, and the Word of God says so in 2 Timothy 1:7: “For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind” (KJV).
Fear is an individual, that’s why the Bible says “the spirit of fear”. Fear is an individual without a physical body, which sees and hears. The devil knows what kind of fear can be overcome by this or that person, as he is the prince of darkness. Satan cannot read a person’s thoughts but he can impose his own thoughts on a person. He brings such thoughts that a person has never had. The spirit of fear dictates: “Don’t do it, but do it this way”. He tries to prevent a person from doing good things.
About spiritual victories over spiritual fears…
Joshua serves as an example for me. If he had decided to follow fear, it would have harmed not only his life but also the people that followed him into the land of Canaan. The fear of each leader harms not only his own calling but also God’s plan for the people following him. Let me tell a story from my life, when I had to completely trust God despite all doubts and fears.
My dream was to work at “Matenadaran”, the Institute of ancient manuscripts, named after St. Mesrop Mashtots. Often, standing at the stairs of that legendary building I would think: “I wonder if there will come a time in my life when I will enter this building as an employee”, but inside I was sure that that day would never come. My dream came true in a supernatural way.
I was a second-year student of the Faculty of Philology at Yerevan State University, when I got a proposal to work at “Matenadaran”. I was entrusted with one of the best computers to work on. At that time, this miracle technology was still little known in Yerevan. I had a stable and fairly high salary, my office was heated and had a twenty-four-hour illumination. All this was considered a luxury for that time. In a word, I had ideal working conditions. I was working on my dissertation, was a believer, lived a wealthy life, and suddenly God said to me: “Leave all that you have. Dedicate yourself to Me and the Mercy Ministry”. I had to step out of my comfort zone.
Did you make that decision easily?
No, it was very hard for me, and I cried for 4 months. And so, once I was sitting on the couch crying and saying to God: “Lord, you know that my father is a pensioner, my mother doesn’t work, my two sisters study at the University of Architecture and the other one studies at the Medical University, while my other sisters go to school, and it all has to be paid for. The entire financial burden is on my shoulders”. At that time I also worked at the State Committee of Television and Radio. But I even had to leave it as well, so I was thinking to myself: “A lot of people would dream to be in my shoes, work where I work, but You fulfilled my dream and now You are taking away what You Yourself have given me?”.
And the Lord spoke to me: “I am not forcing you to do it”. The intonation with which He told me that sentence contained so much sadness and regret, as if He wanted to say: “If only you agreed…”. Perhaps, if it were not for that intonation, I would have not undertaken anything, thinking: “After all, you are not forcing me to do it”. But it played a decisive role. I said to myself: “Even if it is very bad, I will still leave everything, only not to sadden God”.
Of course, only very few people understood me. Many people thought that I was seeking fame, because all charity organizations were very popular at that time, and to be a part of it was a matter of prestige for many people. But nobody assumed that I had to leave my comfortable office and move to a room where there was only a torn sack of flour, moths, demolished walls and a monthly salary of 7 dollars. I had already thought about all the possible problems and was ready for the worst. I was only praying to God to give me spiritual strength to handle it all.
I kept secret the news of my retirement from “Matenadaran” from my parents. But I told everything to my sisters: “Now we have to pray together. God told me to leave my job, therefore, He has а plan not only for me but also for you. He will reveal His will to each of us”. I knew that God would give them a job consistent with their studies.
There was unemployment in the country at that time. We prayed for Him to give us a job with a salary of 50$ in an unemployed Armenia, whereas people dreamed about having a job with a salary of 10-20$, but we had faith for more. Within 10-12 days after prayer, each of them found jobs with a high salary. There was not a single day that we delayed the payment of the tuition fee or had financial need. The Lord took care of everything.
But, you know, it didn’t happen at once. I went through rejection: my father was strongly against me attending church. He didn’t approve of us going to church, and once, when we didn’t have anything during that difficult time, he came home and threw away all the food, by saying: “Let your Lord keep you”, and then he left. We only ate onions and bread for four months, then only bread and then it finished as well. He also warned our neighbors not to lend us money. Before that my father had been providing us with everything, we had never been in need of anything. From a wealthy life we switched to onions and bread, but nobody would ever complain, we thanked God for what we had.
Everybody has fear. But it is not by chance, that the Scripture says “Do not fear” for 365 times. In your opinion, why does God pay so much attention to that issue?
Fear is directed against а person’s calling. If you are afraid of something you won’t be able to fulfill God’s plans and goals for your life. It should be remembered that each person’s calling is reflected in the lives of others as well.
In this case Joshua serves as an example. God said to him: “Do not fear”. The Lord did not offer him “not to fear”, He demanded it. God knows what kind of an obstacle fear can be, but the devil knows it too. Satan creates a sense of caring, as if he cares about you, by saying: “Don’t do it, it is dangerous. I am not trying to scare you but am simply warning you against harm”. But the devil is just deceiving a person.
And can a pastor, who has fear, lead the flock?
It depends on what type of fear he has … it is individual. If it is the fear of not trusting God, then it is dangerous. Every day pastors overcome fear because God gives them a purpose and vision, and, of course, it is connected with great fear. The same happened to our ministry, when God spoke to our pastor, by saying: “You have to create the Mercy Ministry “Go and see…”, and collect money for that ministry from the church members”. It was a big risk, and therefore, fear, when the pastor urged everyone to donate to the ministry. At that time, the church members would sell everything to survive and would stand in lines for days to buy bread. But those people knew that the Lord was behind that ministry.
Our ministry operates based on the following three points: help, restoration and development. That is, a person who receives our help, then finds restoration in God, by hearing the Word, attending church, becoming stronger in the Lord and participating in seminars. All this is followed by development.
Please, describe the difference between being afraid of God and having the fear of God.
I imagine hell quite well, it is a horribly frightening place, but if I have to be in hell with God, then I am not afraid of it. Some people are afraid of God, thinking that the Almighty will punish them for their mistakes, but for me the fear of God is to be afraid of losing His presence. When something goes wrong in my life, I come to God and ask Him: “Lord, what have I done wrong?” And at those moments I realize that God loves me so much that He guides me in everything.
Can you name several types of fear?
The fear of trusting God, i.e., disobedience because of fear. A person can remain Christian but not to achieve all that was destined for him by God. For example, refusing to visit a certain country for a missionary work. There is also an “imperceptible fear”, i.e. the fear of development. I think that every Christian should be very developed and educated. And who are developed people? They are the ones that read books, travel, communicate with different people and learn something new.
The one who settles for less and does not fight for more is someone who does not act in faith, and so he is deprived of his development. It applies to every Christian. You can live in a country and travel within its boundaries, but it is very dangerous. If you spend your vacation in one and the same place every year, then you stop developing.
By the way, anxiety, nervousness and worries are also the initial stage of fear, when fear is just starting to arise.
And what about fear of marriage or absence of marriage?
If a man is guided by love, then no fear can stop him, no thought about the inability to support his family. He will be confident in God. Some men are afraid to marry women from wealthy families, thinking that they won’t be able to provide for her so well. But if he loves that woman, then love conquers all fear, he just has to pray to the Lord to help him find a job after God’s heart.
As for women, the fear of not getting married is from the devil. God has a good will for every woman. But a woman should be wise and make a choice based not on emotions but on God. I think that it is necessary to ask God about our personal life. He sees the future, He knows everything. We just need to ask Him: “What will our future life be like?” Then we need to follow His will. Even if the Lord says that it will destroy you, you have to obey Him.
Maybe it seems to you that if you don’t marry this particular person, you will die. But it is not true at all. If there is no God in your choice, then maybe you will ruin your life, and it does not matter at all whether that person is a newly-converted Christian or a leader of a certain ministry in the church. You can honestly say to God: “I am crazy about this person, but your will is above all things”.
And in your opinion, what is the “antidote” for fear?
The antidote is Power, Love and a Sound mind. 2 Timothy 1:7: “For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind” (KJV).
If we use the power and strength of the Holy Spirit, love and have a sound mind, we will defeat the devil and every fear.